Jesus

Jesus the name above all names

Jesus the way to peaceful life

Jesus the Truth that leads us to eternal life

Jesus the life that gives us abundantly 

Jesus the one who died for all sinners

Jesus the intercede for His children’s 

Jesus the blood that she’s for us

Jesus the ressuraction 

Jesus death couldn’t hold Him down

Jesus won the victory!

Unconditional love is hard to find but the search was never mine

The situation is different when you are the one walking the path.

Everyone was congratulating us and sending their love. When we are young, we think young.  Many girls wanted to be pregnant because they thought it was cute, but I never thought it was , quickly became frustrated, depressed, and anxious; my friends stopped hanging out with me because nobody wanted to hang out with the pregnant girl. I began to hate myself because I was getting fat, I was losing sleep and I could not eat. The weight of the world was on my shoulders all at the age of seventeen. I became increasingly unstable; there was one instance when my mom, Sandra was leaving to go to the store. I asked her where she was going and she said to the store. I said okay and retreated to my room. As she followed behind me, I began to cry. She asked if I wanted to go and I said no thanks in a sullen tone. Most of my days consisted of emotional outbursts, weeping, and crying myself to sleep. As the weeks passed, I became more and more anxious of my baby’s arrival. I found out I was having a girl and decided to name her “Rosie” with her father’s last name. The weeks continued to pass and I was battling between anxiety, fear, and excitement. During this entire time, Will kept his promise he stuck by me cared for me and helped me get to appointments. He was exactly what he said he would be. Very close to my due date I went to the E.R. with bad heartburn and was praying that I dilated enough to have little Rosie. As I got in the room, Dr. Moore came in “what’s the problem Renay?”

“I have bad heart burn and I think I’m having contractions.” I replied. “Ok let me check and see if you are dilated yet”, during the exam my water broke and the next thing I knew I was in full-blown labor. Everything was happening so fast, they placed me on a hard metal bed and placed a belt on me to monitor Rosie’s heartbeat. The pain was unbearable as they strapped me down to the metal bed. I was crying out as Dr. Moore told me that he could see her head! The nurse quickly transported me to the labor and delivery room where I received medicine for the pain; I was able to calm down some, but the pain was still intense. This was such an exciting day; I had over 10 people in waiting room there to support little Rosie and me.  Dr. Moore asked if I was ready and then instructed me to push. As I was pushing, I smelled something disturbing. Turned out it was Shane in the bathroom smoking a cigarette. The doctor instructed him not to smoke in the hospital and Will left the room. I gave one final push and Rosie was out. As she belted out a high-pitched squeal, I looked her over and she was so pretty. She had a head of hair weighed five pounds and ten ounces she was 21 inches long and very healthy.  I could not believe how adorable she was. It was then that I knew that it was time to make a change in my life a change for the absolute better. 

 I am a

 Living testimony for Jesus Christ this blog will continue.

The Bible says “There’s is none who does good, no not one (Rom 3:12).

Unconditional Love is hard to find but the search was never mine.

What make me think of fallen for  this guy, was it bc I was abused by my ex and He was controlling or was it bc I was hurt inside of my daddy leaving me for another family. But I made the choice and it wasn’t the right choice I slept with him,  my parents didn’t know than but.. it’s so amazing the things you do when you young just to get attention or to fit in with the crowd but this is not my first time have sex it was at first with the guy who controlled me for about 4 yrs. I know you shocked right but I’ll have to tell the story because it might help another young mother out there to not make the same mistakes I’ll made I pray that you won’t. 

Yes I was with a guy for 4 yrs it started out at age 13 and at first I was so excited in love at least i thought I was. I had nice jewelry,  and we went to different places and I didn’t have to pay plus he bought me new pair of shoes. Now let me remind you that I was born in the hood where the outside looks good in the inside is a mess. Most people stunning like we really had it gone on but reality we didn’t.  Any how let me get back to the story of 17yrs old and what led me to a life change. So with the guy who was my ex let just call him Tom, he made sure I was dress nice and got my hair done too. I wasnt to big on the fake nails but it look like everything was going good oh i forget to tell you he drove a car with big rims and loud music. Hmmm I know you want to know was he a doap boy? Well most of the guys was a doap boy but not all. Tom was a doap boy at a young age trying to fit in the hood but as I stayed in relationship Tom I didn’t know this other personality  of like you can’t wear this, you can’t wear that why bc it’s to short. That’s how it started out but I thought he cared about me but in reality he was trying to control the way I dress. One day me and Tom went to a parade and I thought I was fly a sista had on white shorts, red and white, blue shirt that showed a lil bit of belly but not as much with my sandals and Tom let me wear his thick harbone necklace I was stun lol. But I was meeting up with Tom at the parade, I meet with him he didn’t say you look nice, your outfit is cute. His face was so serious I was like what’s wrong with you,  no respond we walked up the street where nobody around did you know he put his hands on me and told me to go home and take that out fit off. Talking about a sista self esteem that hurted. To make the long story short the situation didn’t get better we had some good days but more bad days than at 17yrs old I let him go and moved on with a guy from high school that was flirt with me for about an year. It’s so amaze in high school you have so much fun and never think the covering up will come out in the light. So at 17 yrs old nobody home we had sex but we had protection on. But we was been sneaky and you know it’s not right, to be honest God don’t won’t us to have sex till we get married but the choices we make we have to deal with the consequences.  Anyhow the new guy was my boyfriend after the flirting for a year we going to call him hmmm let’s see Will. Will was not controlling and He wasn’t no doap boy so we road to school together we graduated the same year but let me get back to the story lol. Okay 17 yrs old I admit we had sex but idk that the condemn broke and Will didn’t tell me. So I’m thinking everything is going good with us we ready to be junior we get alone , hang out and go out to eat when Will didn’t have to work. To make the long story short I was pregnant and Idk till my mom took me to the doctor to get my depo  shot. Oh how I thought everything was okay, like when we went to the doctor they said no you not pregnant but come back tomorrow bc we was waiting on the medicine to come I thought everything was good, my parents didn’t know and plus they thought I didn’t do anything wrong. So what had happen was I got a called after I passed to get my license me and my mother celebrated about my license she even took me to get some ice cream. After that she drop me off at our house and we didn’t have cell phones we had house phone so I looked on the caller I.d. box and the doctor office call me. I’m like why they call, I listen to the voicemail and tears came down my face, my heart beat faster and my grandad Buster looked at me and said what’s wrong did someone die,  I said granddaddy I’m pregnant he said awww shut you’ll be alright.  I had to go back to the doctor office tomorrow and mom is taking me , I had to go tell the truth. Walking down the street trying to cover up my story but how can you cover up pregnancy, how can you be a parent this young oh what I put myself into. I’m at my aunt house and everyone is here I hope my momma will talk to me in private. Here I go, momma can I talk to you, my auntie spoke up first what’s wrong with you child did a boy break up with you i said no auntie I just need to talk to momma, auntie said well we All family what’s going it’s about 5 people at the table and my auntie want me to tell her, everyone else  what’s wrong this made me more nervous. But here it goes momma with tears coming down my face now my step dad turn around and they all stop playing cards I’m pregnant…….. What! My step dad says well say goodbye to your friends, no more hanging out, no more going to the mall that hurted what is he talking about  and than the only words out of my momma mouth was it’s your responsibility. As I walk back home with tears in my eyes what is my responsibility the only thing I know is to do my homework, do my chores before I go outside, what does she mean this is my responsibility?

I am a Living testimony for Jesus Christ this blog will continue.

The Bible says “There’s is none who does good, no not one (Rom 3:12).

Walk by Faith and Step Out

Walk by Faith is believe what you don’t see yet, walk by faith is easy to say but doing it in action not knowing if you going to fail or having someone laugh at you, door closed in your face. It take the action of having Faith and believe in the possible of Almighty God and Step out on the water. As I go this weekend step out on Faith on my God giving gift not knowing if I’ll have people there or will I be the only one, not knowing what doors will open up for me or what doors will close on me, not knowing if the crowd would like the teaching or they will not But one thing I know for sure is God is with me every step of the way. It’s easy to write your plans, it’s easy to look at your vision but when it’s time to take action you have to do it anyhow regardless if you nervous,  if shaky and wonder what, how it’s going to turn out.  Faith comes by the things we cannot see but the things we hope for and when it’s your time to walk out on the water, keep your Faith why? B.C. God is with you and He will never leave you nor forsake you and the gift He gave you is what you are created for,  don’t let nobody intimidate YOU!  

Love

Love goes beyond words, Love goes beyond looks, Love goes beyond feelings, Love goes beyond your smell, Love goes beyond your hairstyle or haircut, Love goes beyond your clothes or shoes, Love goes beyond your cars, house, Love goes beyond your mistakes, Love goes beyond your frustration, Love goes beyond your skin, Love goes beyond your nail polish, Love goes beyond your job, Love goes beyond your smile. Love, Love,  true Love that’s so deep and unconditional that Loves you within and that Love  died for you to have a chance of eternal life,  Love that never leave you nor forsake you, Love that is with you through sickness and grieve time, Love that when you are alone, Love is when tears come down, Love  say don’t worry I’m with you, Love that took your sin away and lead it upon a cross, Love is Within you and Love gives you confidence,  Love makes you new, Love gives you peace,  Love comfort you, Love, Love, Love only what God can fulfilled and that’s what we All need is His love and than we shall be able to pour are Love into others bc He pour His love into us First🤗😍😚😗

Thank God 

Thankful for roof over our head

Thankful for the food on our table

Thankful for the clothes on our back

Thankful for the water

Thankful for the protection

Thankful for the peace

Thankful for the Love

Thankful for the mercy

Thankful for the grace

Thankful for the gifts and talents

Thankful for the forgiveness

Thankful for the job

Thankful for the guidance

Thankful for our family

Thankful for the vehicles

Most of all I’m thankful for your Son Jesus Christ! 

Trust the Lord

I don’t put my trust in Washington,  I don’t put my trust in United Nations,  I don’t put my trust in money, I don’t put my trust in myself. I put my Trust in the Lord Jesus Christ when all the rest of it fails and shatters. He will be there!!!