Unconditional love is hard to find but the search was never mine

The situation is different when you are the one walking the path.

Everyone was congratulating us and sending their love. When we are young, we think young.  Many girls wanted to be pregnant because they thought it was cute, but I never thought it was , quickly became frustrated, depressed, and anxious; my friends stopped hanging out with me because nobody wanted to hang out with the pregnant girl. I began to hate myself because I was getting fat, I was losing sleep and I could not eat. The weight of the world was on my shoulders all at the age of seventeen. I became increasingly unstable; there was one instance when my mom, Sandra was leaving to go to the store. I asked her where she was going and she said to the store. I said okay and retreated to my room. As she followed behind me, I began to cry. She asked if I wanted to go and I said no thanks in a sullen tone. Most of my days consisted of emotional outbursts, weeping, and crying myself to sleep. As the weeks passed, I became more and more anxious of my baby’s arrival. I found out I was having a girl and decided to name her “Rosie” with her father’s last name. The weeks continued to pass and I was battling between anxiety, fear, and excitement. During this entire time, Will kept his promise he stuck by me cared for me and helped me get to appointments. He was exactly what he said he would be. Very close to my due date I went to the E.R. with bad heartburn and was praying that I dilated enough to have little Rosie. As I got in the room, Dr. Moore came in “what’s the problem Renay?”

“I have bad heart burn and I think I’m having contractions.” I replied. “Ok let me check and see if you are dilated yet”, during the exam my water broke and the next thing I knew I was in full-blown labor. Everything was happening so fast, they placed me on a hard metal bed and placed a belt on me to monitor Rosie’s heartbeat. The pain was unbearable as they strapped me down to the metal bed. I was crying out as Dr. Moore told me that he could see her head! The nurse quickly transported me to the labor and delivery room where I received medicine for the pain; I was able to calm down some, but the pain was still intense. This was such an exciting day; I had over 10 people in waiting room there to support little Rosie and me.  Dr. Moore asked if I was ready and then instructed me to push. As I was pushing, I smelled something disturbing. Turned out it was Shane in the bathroom smoking a cigarette. The doctor instructed him not to smoke in the hospital and Will left the room. I gave one final push and Rosie was out. As she belted out a high-pitched squeal, I looked her over and she was so pretty. She had a head of hair weighed five pounds and ten ounces she was 21 inches long and very healthy.  I could not believe how adorable she was. It was then that I knew that it was time to make a change in my life a change for the absolute better. 

 I am a

 Living testimony for Jesus Christ this blog will continue.

The Bible says “There’s is none who does good, no not one (Rom 3:12).


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